ThinkThought #28 : Cake For Beatings

The past three days have been absolutely horrendous. On Friday night, I lost use of my computer, after it had an unfortunate incident with a stray rum and tonic... and so I have been left without my second favourite appendage, my MacBook. These three days have been nothing but tears, brie, and the Oprah Winfrey network, which may sound like heaven to many of you. In fact, as I ponder on the two hour special on Hasidic Jews (I know so much about Mikvehs now), it was heaven (**Jewish heaven. It's different. It's a lot more fun). Regardless, after waiting 82 hours, I tried turning it on, and would you look at that! It's back in full-fighting frenzied force (despite there being tiny pits of rice stuck in every nook and cranny. Not even Kim Jong-Un could get these grains out [that was just a unnecessary racist comment. AND WHAT]).

And so, you can imagine how surprised I was when, after my 82 hour hiatus, I came back to Internet Alley, USA, and saw that Chris "Beat-you-black-and-blue" Brown and Rihanna have put out not ONE but TWO remixed songs, each featuring the other. At first I thought it was a joke, so I went to the source of all truth, dignity, and class: twitter. When I came upon this...

#RihannaNavy Come and put ya name on it!!!!! RT @chrisbrown: @rihanna goo.gl/ttRJR YIKES!!! Cake, cake, cake!

To someone not well versed in the Twatisphere, this fluckery probably looks as foreign to you as a package of Yasmin does to Michelle Duggar. To keep a long Twat short, it confirmed my deepest fear... that being that Rihanna and Chris "I'm-a-wife-beating-homophobic-marginally-talented-singer" Brown are back together. At least... in the studio. The Intertubes have been all clogged up recently with whisperings that the once couple may be coupling once again, and this seems to only confirm it.

Now I get that people make mistakes when they are young, and people should forgive, and be forgiven, but somehow, to me, it just doesn't seem like it should apply to someone who "began applying pressure to Robyn F.'s left and right carotid arteries, causing her to be unable to breathe and she began to lose consciousness". Call me old fashioned, but the only woman I'm going to beat on is Chun-Li.

But I guess if Rihanna is willing to forgive and forget and fuck, so should we? Although something about that doesn't exactly scream "sending a good message". But good messages are way overrated, I guess. If I'm being honest, I'm just scared for her little Missy. Have you seen the picture of Chris Brown's little Sir? It looks like a Blenjeel Sand Worm from Star Wars. It probably MOST definitely has teeth.

Well, I'm going to head off and listen to Rihanna's new song Cake. It's AMAZING! And whoever that guy it features is great. This is definitely going to be a chart topper.

Oh and heres a creepy picture of Michelle Duggar holding her miscarried baby's feet. Whatever helps you grieve I guess?