ThinkThought #19 : The Most Depressing Day

Today is a special day. To me, it's a holiday. It's time to take out your Prozac and put on your Elliott Smith album. Turn the lights off in your room, shut the curtains, and lay in bed. Take out a pen and paper and starting writing poetry relating the struggles that you face in life, that no one else could ever understand. Eat an entire pizza, drink a 2.6 of Whiskey, and turn on Schindler's List. Go on facebook and stare at each and every single profile picture of the one that got away. And now? Cry.

According to a study by some British hooligans here, the third monday of January is, statistically, the most depressing day of the year. Their logic is that the Holiday cheer of New years has dissipated into finely decomposed manure, as well that the reality of Holiday debt finally comes creeping back into one's brain after a long hiatus of merriment and failed New Years resolutions. That, and summer feels as though it shan't never arrive. Although, I don't suppose the Brits aren't simply saying this because they're finally sober enough after the Holidays to remember the wretched state of their teeth, and they can't seem to fins any heaters in their crumbly old castles. This, to me, seems more likely.

If it is true that today is the most depressing day of the year, I thought I should think of everything that I currently find depressing and make a top-ten list of it. This is what I came up with:

1. Sure it's sunny out and 8°C in Vancouver today, but it's WINDY... could things get any worse?
2. I have so many clothes that I just can't find any place for them in my room. Since my dresser and closet are full, I've resorted to leaving my name brand threads on my floor. Disgusting, I know.
3. I have a 500 word assignment due tomorrow. In the University class I'm taking. At one of the best Universities in Canada. Kill me now, amiright?
4. I have so many groceries in my electricity-powered refrigerator that I can't seem to choose what I want to eat for my three square meals today. Ugh, why do there have to be so many choices?
5. The glass of water I just drank from my tap was too cold. Don't they realize my recent dental appointment has left my orthodontically corrected teeth sensitive?
6. I only got two pieces of mail today. One from my mother, who lives two provinces away, including with it pictures of my family, as well as a bill for my cable television and super-highspeed internet. Gosh, doesn't anyone care about me?
7. I don't have any school or work today. So I literally have nothing to do at all. I have not one single responsibility in the world today. Nothing. God, isn't life boring?
8. I've been working on a song, recording from my state-of-the-art keyboard into my Macbook, on the new and improved Garageband '11, but I just can't seem to make the second verse work. Aren't I worthless?
9. The air in this house is too moist, and I think the new de-humidifier my roommate bought is on the fritz. It feels like I'm breathing in cool, moisture-rich air. And I can't get the perfect balance of temperature with the thermostat. The furnace that I have in my house always gets too hot. Uggggh I live in the worst conditions EVER.

And finally,

10. I can't find the earbuds to my new Ipod nano.

I really think I might as well crawl into the closet and die. Today is literally, the most depressing day of the year.