I Love You More Than...

WARNING: If you are easily offended by offensive jokes, do not read ahead.

A Poem for Valentines Day
Dedicated to Jackie Sanger.


I love you more than rainbows.
I love you more than pussybows.
I love you more than sunshine.
I love you more than cumshine.
I love you more than puppies.
I love you more than roofies.
I love you more than Jordan.
I love you more than transsexual porn.
I love you more than cumshots.
I love you more than racial inequality.
I love you more than Hitler hated Jews.
I love you more than Hellen Keller was useless.
I love you more than sex with Anne Frank.
I love you more than sex with Jesus post-crucifixion.
I love you more than nuclear weapons.
I love you more than mustard gas in aids orphanages.
I love you more than Bush loves Capital Punishment.
I love you more than Bush loves Coke.
I love you more than Dumbledore loved Harry.
I love you more than Dumbledore liked to dream of fisting Harry.
I love you more than Tom Hanks loves the Holy Grail.
I love you more than Monty Python loves the Holy Grail.
I love you more than guidos love gym, tanning, and laundry.
I love you more than women love laundry. Just laundry.
I love you more than feminists love voting.
I love you more than feminists love hairy bushes.
I love you more than pedophiles love myspace.
I love you more than pedophiles love babydick.
I love you more than you love plaid.
And I, I just love you.