FameTip #13 : Master of the Streets

I have found that, over time, the best way to improve one's fame status is to stick with one thing for an extended period of time. This makes complete sense, as to perfect something, it takes practice, it takes time. And by perfecting something (in essence, becoming the best at something), one becomes "notable". And by becoming "notable", one becomes famous. Therein lies the problem. In order to become the best at something, you usually have to have a certain set of specific skills.

I have none (except for fear mongering and eating carbohydrates... two very good skills mind you).

SO. I have decided to become a master of the most basic thing I could think of. The Master Homeless Man. Everyone knows that crazy bearded man who dresses up as a bear downtown and sells drawings for spare change. He is famous. As is the lady who you thought was a man, but turns out is nothing of the sort, which you have become aware of as a result of her flashing her lady parts to you in exchange for crack every Thursday evening outside of Kim's Corner Convenience Store (you, of course, do not appease her wishes).

I wouldn't actually be homeless, of course. It would just be my day job. I think that I could take the whole "panhandling for money destitution" thing in a whole new direction and place. In return for money, I could finish the customers' homework assignments, come to their home and cook them a three course meal, separate their skittles by colour, etc. Anything really. I would be an entrepreneur of the streets. And plus, I could go home and sleep at the end of the day... best of both worlds. It's simple really.

So, look out for me on the streets of Vancouver, and bring your money! And I will do whatever you want...

WHATEVER!...

you want.